Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Wishing You : The Usual End-of-Year Update

It's been a hard year for lil' ol' Meg Edge, guys, and that means a difficult year for the Frock.

I'm seeing all of these bloggers I admire doing their usual posts at this time of year. They're full of goals for the future and goals they met this year, fun adventures they had and outfits they wore. I look back at other years for Cirque and I just feel so disheartened with how 2015 turned out. I can't complain about some things, though. For instance, meeting Amber Tamblyn, who has been a 'hero' of mine since I was about fifteen years old. I got to explore Laurel Hill Cemetery with Tracy, which had been a goal of mine since I moved to Philly in early 2007. I self-published my first collection of short stories, which is now available on Nook and Smashwords. And I spent a weekend with my best friend in the world, Megan Mae (and Ally!). I vended at three craft shows and spent my first Christmas in almost ten years with my family. The highs of 2015 were SUPER HIGH.

It's just, without going into too much detail, the lows were the lowest of lows. From my mother being in the hospital, to my friend's mother passing away, to having my heart not only broken but entirely ripped out of my chest, it's been a rough freaking year.

I'm still a little bit  heartbroken and a little bit homesick, and more than a little lonely here in the mountains of Maryland. It's very rural here and I miss the hustle and bustle (and inspiration!) of a large city. I miss my home, I miss my city and I miss the people that were in my 'Philly' family. Sometimes I'm so tired from the simplest of tasks that I consider giving up Cirque because I don't know if I'll ever get to updating again like I used to. I just have to keep on believing in my dream, but these days it's a little hard.

Cirque on Etsy
I do have a few things to look forward to in 2016. I have shows that I'd like to vend, and I hope to be able to start cosmetology school because I've wanted to do that since I was a teenager and now seems like a perfect time to do it. I hope to live on my own at some point because I've never lived by myself and I think I'd enjoy the solitude. I hope to find a steady source of income so that I can pursue my beauty school and online store dreams.

I also hope, fingers crossed, that I can make a blogging come back.

I've also started the process of learning to drive. I have a Maryland learner's permit, the name of a driver's ed school and hopefully my mother's permission to use her car when I'd like to go sit at a Starbucks for a few hours. ;-) I know that will alleviate some of my stress once I can conquer that mountain.

My mother and I have been talking about how last year we wanted 2015 to be better than 2014. This year we've decided that instead of getting excited for good things, maybe we should expect the bad and that way, when we get good things, we're pleasantly surprised. ;-) Maybe this is a better approach to karma for us.

All I know is, during the holidays, one lyric stands out to me as a truth and this is all I want for myself and this is what I would like for all my loved ones. 'May your days be merry and bright' from me to you. Happy New Year.


  1. Wishing you "merry and bright", Meghan! I am also intimidated by year-end posts - so much pressure! I am looking forward to wearing the dress that Megan Mae gave me that is one of yours - I'm waiting for warmer weather, as it is too clingy over tights.

    Happy New Year!

  2. Happy New Year! Things will get better. It's the ying and yang of life.

  3. I know this year hasn't been so kind to you lovely Meg, but its onto bigger and better things for you I'm sure! I know that you will learn to drive, get that apartment by yourself and keep plugging away at your store. I wish you only good things in the coming year, or at the very least I hope the good outweighs the bad! *hugs*