Sunday, February 15, 2015

A Three Ring Circus

This post is hard for me to start because there are so many things I'd like to talk about but that I can't talk about, because people from my every day life read this blog, but let me tell you that life has been stressful lately. On top of a stressful work situation and an inability to really request time off to take care of myself, I've had some friend related problems and I'm definitely trying not to get sick (because, let's face it, what's the point- it's not like I can miss work to recuperate). That being said, I've gotten so much support from my friends on my Etsy endeavors, it's overwhelming. You guys are all the best (especially this one who keeps sharing my photos on her personal pages - don't worry, love, you've got something special coming your way!).

One of my problems is my struggle with depression and anxiety. I know I don't mention it as much as I used to, but it's still a large part of my life. One of the ways that I battle the depression is by working on my etsy store. I find tinkering with graphics, new items and tutorials gives me a sense of productivity and wholeness that I don't find on other aspects of my life. It provides a sense of hope, like I'm working towards my dream of being my own boss. So even though I know I've been posting a lot about my shop lately, it's because that's my flotation device in a sea of uncertainty. Well... it's probably more like arm-swimmies, but hey. It's still keeping my head above water. 

I've done some updating to this website, including a Tutorials page in the sidebar. I don't just want my tutorials to be for sale. Eventually I want to have some free tutorials up there, too. (Like, I'd really like to re-do this tutorial from my craftster days. I'm going to call it 'The Fortune Teller' top.) 

Cirque du Frock on Etsy

Right now I have my three for-sale tutorials up on Etsy, and that inspired me to blog today about my love of themes. 

When I picked Cirque du Frock as a blog name, my life was undergoing a lot of changes. In a few short months, I lost my job and found another one, I lost a set of friends in that job move and had a lot of upset in the old family/friends region. It's been a hectic year! It certainly felt like a three ring circus. I have a dress I made that I love called the 'Circus Dress' because it made me feel like a trapeze artist, one of my favorite movies is Cirque du Freak, and I've always just had a fascination with performing arts. I feel a little like a freak most of the time, and so Cirque du Frock was born. Besides, I'm the original frock freak. :-P

While trying to name my tutorials, I came up with the idea to make them all circus themed. The Sideshow Dress is my favorite. I love that dress and own probably twenty of them, each one with it's own special meaning, because you use garments that you love to make them. I have one that is made from a tee shirt Ally gave me in NYC, I have one made from the t-shirt I bought the day MCR broke up, and I have several made from my friend's mother's recycled clothes (she passed away earlier this year). I love being able to wear things that are so important to me, things that are able to be cherished. 

The Ringmaster Jacket is also one of my faves (as you can see, all of the jackets pictured are mine, and those are just the ones that I could find- I think I have three more I didn't even photo). Each one is an important memory- the two tie-dye ones are from my mom, the maroon sleeved one was purchased when Trees came to visit, and the collarless bleached one is decorated in button flowers by Megan. 

Even though the names are silly, I hope that I impart some of my passion for recycling and refashioning clothes in these tutorials (and I really hope I make some people giggle at the hilarious item names). I think I've found a really cool, really fun way of incorporating my writing and my love of sewing together. Even if I'm not making a living at it, it's still a dream to be able to do this.

Next up, I've got a few e-books that definitely need to be finished (and my rant about that is a very different, probably very long blog post), but I think I might also start writing a short story surrounding my tutorials. I was daydreaming last week, and I thought of a story about a girl visiting a raggedy circus in search of someone important to her. I hope to have more on that soon. 


  1. Lovely darling! I know you've struggled with feeling productive, but from this alone, I can see just how hard you've been working, but I also know 'behind the scenes' you're working even harder.

  2. Hang in there, buddy. Sorry to hear things are rough.

  3. The names aren't silly - they are freaking awesome! I love the movie cirque-du-freak too, I mean who wouldn't! I totally get what you mean about your esty keeping you floating - I had to take stress leave last year and one of the things that helped me cope was my crafts! I'm pretty sure cross-stitch keeps me sane. Keep hanging in there lady, I know you can do it xox

  4. Meghan, I know from personal experience, my own and people close to me, how challenging it is to live with anxiety and depression. Finding a creative outlet is such a powerful support to daily survival and I think it is great that if you cannot work on big sewing projects, you have a website to play around with and so you can still be creative and still feel a sense of progress and growth. You are super talented and I really truly wish all wonderful things for you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am certain the world is a better place because you are in it. It is definitely a more interesting place with amazing clothes! xoxo